Thursday, December 7, 2017

Mom Fails. {Confessions Series}

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel like you're doing it all wrong?  Like everything.  Just all wrong.  You just want to scrap your whole normal way of being and start from scratch so you can implement all of these amazing plans you've pinned on Pinterest or do everything the way your favorite celebrity/Instagrammer/blogger/mom friend next door does.  Because those people seem to have it all figured out and their lives look so easy.

I'm smart enough to know that most people only show the "highlight reel" to the world through social media/blogging/etc.  I am 100% in that group.  I don't do it on purpose but who takes a picture of a pile of laundry that's been sitting there for a week and posts it on Instagram?  Or an unmade bed or a sink full of dirty dishes?  You don't tend to document those things on a routine basis.  I want to show fun and happy times to the world.  I definitely don't want everyone to see me about to lose my mind over trying to get my 9-year-old to JUST TASTE IT!!! #awholeotherstory

But even though I know this, and am guilty of it myself, I still find myself wondering how other moms make it look so easy.  They cook real family sit-down dinners every night, their house is always clean, they look cute all the time and so do their kids.  They volunteer, they run marathons, they scrapbook and they DIY birdfeeders with their kids as a fun after-school activity.  

I've got so many balls in the air lately that I'm having a very hard time balancing it all.  I want to give 100% to everything I do but sometimes (most of the time) I fall short.  And I HATE that.


Which leads me to this.  Today is my second post in my Confessions Series (you can find my first one HERE) and I figured this was a good topic to tackle.  I have been working so much lately getting orders out in time for Christmas so I think I'm definitely feeling the strain a lot more the past few weeks.  (And for the record, I'm finally out of the triple digits!  Only 98 more orders left to go!)

Mom Fails

I am no stranger to a solid mom fail.  There are 3 that I can think of off the top of my head that stand out and one that almost was.  But oh that list is so much longer than four.  Don't you worry.  But today, I'm going to tell you these four and hope you won't judge me.  (You may remember these from a post I did this summer so I'm sorry if you are hearing these for a second time.)

1.  The time we talked about how excited we were to go back to our favorite waterpark in Gulf Shores for an entire year...only to drive up to it the next summer, all ready for a day of fun FINALLY, and discover it was closed for the season.  So. many. tears.

2.  The time I thought the VBS Family Fun Night was on Friday.  We talked about how we couldn't wait for Friday because there would be snow cones, a petting zoo, and bounce houses.  So the whole family loaded up and drove to the church for Family Fun Night...only to find out that it had actually been the night before.  #whoopsie  We tried to make up for it with ice cream and the playground at McDonalds.  Yeah...not the same.

3.  This was a close call but was not a mom fail thanks to my friend.  The bus for Mason's first sleep away camp was supposed to leave from the church at 1, so they said to be there at 12.  Or so I thought.  At 11:45,  I get a text asking where we are from my friend.  Apparently, the bus was leaving at 12 and we needed to be there at 11!  We ended up making it just in time and Mason didn't really even know we were late.  But can you imagine the mom fail if he'd have missed that bus?!

4.  And finally, #4 happened this week.  I was up in Matthew's room making sure they were getting ready for bed.  There is a strand of Christmas lights wound around the top of Matthew's curtain rod right now so we had the ceiling light off and just the Christmas lights on.  It was dark but you could still see.  They were pretty bright.  

I tucked the boys in and left the room.  I saw that Mason's closet light was on in his room next door so I walked in to turn it off.  As I was doing that, I heard both boys sneak out of Matthew's room (thinking I was downstairs) and go down the stairs. Instead of yelling at them to get back in bed, I thought it would be a fun idea to climb into Matthew's bed, under the covers and jump out and scare them when they came back in.

I waited in the semi-dark room for about five minutes, laying flat and still under the comforter.  When I heard them walk in I waited about 2 seconds and then jumped up from under the covers and screamed BOOOO!!  Mason screamed the girliest, high pitched scream ever and then burst into tears.  Matthew was still standing by the now closed bedroom door and jumped back so hard he fell into the door and then crumpled into a sobbing heap in the corner.  His hand was over his heart and they were both just hysterically crying.

I could not have felt worse.  Like the earth could have just opened up and swallowed me whole right at that very moment.

It was bad.

I immediately jumped down off the bed and started to comfort them.  They didn't really say anything, just kept crying and trying to slow their heartbeats.  I was scared I'd given Matthew a heart attack.  When they finally got ahold of themselves and I had apologized a zillion times and was practically in tears myself, they said it was ok and were almost trying to make ME feel better.

I promised them I would never ever scare them ever again and that I was so sorry and felt so bad.

Such a bonehead mom fail.

One thing I've learned from being a mom for the past 9.5 years is that we ALL fail. There is no such thing as a perfect mom.  And if there is, then please keep her far away from me because I can't handle all that perfection.  She would probably hate me anyway after she found out I hate to cook, rarely separate my whites from my darks, do not read to my children every night before bed or wake them up every morning with soft whispers and sweet kisses.

Would I like to do all that?  YES!  That would be amazing if I loved to cook.  But I don't.  My children are still thriving in school even though we don't snuggle into bed together every night and read a chapter out of a book like you see in the movies.  And they wake up every morning by an alarm clock and not the sound of my voice.  They dress themselves (although they rarely match), brush their own teeth, comb their hair and come downstairs within 15 minutes.

And for the record, I've been throwing my lights and darks in together for YEARS. (gasp!) And I've never had a problem.  Granted, 90% of our clothes are basic t-shirts, athletic shorts, jeans, and underwear.  But still.

I say all of this to let you know that I am not one of those perfect moms.  And if you aren't either, THAT'S OK.  There are a lot more of us out there than you think!

Being a mom is hard no matter what.  And when you add on a full-time job, kids' schedules, homework, cooking, cleaning, laundry, bills...it's a lot of stress.  And sometimes you need to take the easy way out to save you from collapsing.  Or sometimes you just need to order pizza for dinner and maybe even let your kid have a cold slice for breakfast the next day too.  Because cold pizza is GOOD.

And then?  Be ok with it.  Own your decision.  Who cares if it's not always a perfectly well-balanced hot organic breakfast every morning or if Jane's mom made her bacon, eggs, waffles, and a little fruit salad.  Your kid is alive, healthy, loved and happy.  That's all that matters.

One thing I have never failed at is loving my kids.  I love my kids hard.  My kids know they are loved "to the moon and back and all around the world and back again" as they like to say.  I am a very affectionate mom.  I am constantly hugging my kids, kissing cheeks, stroking hair, giving back scratches or pulling them on to my lap.  We snuggle up anytime we are sitting near each other.  And I think I tell them "I love you" about 50 times a day.  And at the ages of 7 and 9, they are still ok with all this.  So I'm going to do it as long as I can.

But my kids are getting older and I'm realizing that parenting styles come in phases. Sometimes I forget that when my boys were younger, I was that mom I now consider one of those "perfect moms".  I was a stay-at-home-mom full-time.  No other responsibilities outside of the home.  I was with my kids from sun up to sun down and we would do everything together.  And I posted our fun on Facebook like it was my JOB.  Not because I wanted to show off or show everyone what an awesome mom I was.  But because my kids were so darn cute!  And I was so proud that they were mine.

These would have been part of Day in the Life posts if I'd have done that back then.

We spent so much time just sitting in the driveway or playing in the culdesac.  I'd watch them zoom these trucks all over the place every single day.



(Seriously, this truck.  I told you about it here in my Gift Guide the other day but when I found these pictures I wanted to mention it again.  Best gift ever.)

We'd spend a lot of time in the playroom with Toy Story or Cars on in the background while we did puzzles or played with the train table.

Was Mason not the cutest little thing?!!


Everyone said Matthew and I looked like twins when we did a kissy face so we documented it one night while playing with Buzz and Woody on the kitchen floor.


And my sweet baby Mason couldn't be left out of the fun and plopped himself in my lap.


When we were outside there was always sidewalk chalk to draw with.  (Or break into a million pieces.)



I miss those days.  They were so much simpler.  And so much fun.

I've decided that I need to just accept that I may not be a "perfect" mom in all areas, but in the ones that really matter, I'm not doing half bad.  My kids are happy, healthy, smart, independent, kind and love me no matter what.  Even if I scare them half to death right before bed or drive up to a closed waterpark.

A lot of us wrestle with mom guilt.  So I hope this has at least given you something to look at and maybe think "Oh wow!  This sounds a lot like me!" or possibly "Oh wow!  This makes me feel so much better about myself!  I'm doing way better than this chick!".

Whatever I can do to help.  ;)

And in case you forgot, yes, this is a link up.  Feel free to link up any sort of confession post you'd like. I totally dropped the ball on this this month and didn't mention it much. I'm going to open it up anyway, just in case.

I love Christmas but I look forward to getting my life back on track in January.  ;) #hotmess


Thanks for sitting through my confessions for today!  I seriously wrestled with whether or not I even wanted to publish this or not. But we're all just doing the best we can.  And if some are doing it better than others, well then more power to them.  Maybe they'll share their secret.  Or maybe they are locking themselves in the bathroom twice a day just get away from it all.  You just never know.

See you back here tomorrow for a much lighter topic:  Friday Favorites!



23 comments:

  1. I love your honesty in this post! I think most mom's have areas they "excel" in, and others that we just have to let go and let God. I feel kind of priveleged that I started out being a mom before the internet/pinterest/Facebook world took over. It was definitely a simpler time, and the only mom's you could compare yourself to were the ones you knew in person. It's so easy to get sucked into the comparison game now!

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    1. That is such a good point, Tanya! There are definitely areas that I excel in and then some...not so much. 😉 I'll focus on the stuff I excel at more. Thank you!!

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  2. Oh Amanda! We all suffer from mom guilt! And I never separate my laundry either. There's only one goal with laundry-get it done...I don't care HOW that happens. ;)

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    1. Girl, yes!! I'm glad you said that. Just get it done! I hate laundry. 😉

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  3. Oh friend, I mom fail all the time. That being said, I giggled at some of yours because they sounded like some of mine ;) .

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    1. Just don't jump out and scare the mess out of your kids. 😂😂😂 I hope everyone learns from that mistake. 🤦🏼‍♀️

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  4. I love reading your blog and your confessions! And for the record I always read thinking you are lovely and real and show it! I try to remind myself too that not only is this a magical season for us but THE ENEMY IS ACTIVE! I feel the devil will try any and everything to creep into our heads and distract us with doubt or confusion or guilt. I keep a message by my bed that says 'let whatever you did today be enough'. It's a reminder to thank God for my blessings and not feel the guilt if I didn't pull off a Pinterest worthy day. Anyway thanks for your supportive mom posts!! Love them!

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    1. Oh that made my day. Thank you!! And I actually started making a new sign to add to the shop with that saying on it a couple of months ago! And then I got slammed with orders and never finished it. I'm going to make sure I finish it so I can add it to the shop in January. It's a great reminder. ❤️

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  5. As a recent empty-nester, with the benefit of hindsight, I can tell you that some of my biggest mom fails became my kids' best memories. Kids don't need perfection, they need to see us own our mistakes. You're doing great!

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    1. Thank you so much, Chelle! I have a feeling you are right. 😉 ❤️

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  6. Your honesty + humor = why I love your blog. Keep it real :)

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  7. I'm sorry if it's inappropriate, but I laughed so hard I cried while reading the story about you scaring your kids! I am very glad they both recovered though. :) I found your blog recently and have really enjoyed your posts!

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    1. Hahahahaha...no worries. My husband thought it was hilarious when I told him about it too!!

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  8. This might be my favorite post of yours ever! We all do the best we can and we all struggle sometimes. And yes, cold pizza is GOOD!

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  9. I am DYING laughing at #4. HYSTERICAL.

    Also, who separates lights and darks?!

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  10. I love loved this post. Get that perfect Mom away from me too! 😉 Im so glad you posted this- I feel this way parts of every day it seems! Momming is so hard!

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  11. I decided to hide in the shower and jump out and scare my now sixteen-year-old daughter when she was younger. She was so terrified that I had to buy her a clear shower curtain so she could see that no one was in there with her. Not sure what I was thinking with that one! Haha. And my six-year-old cut off most of her hair this past weekend, right after we had it trimmed, so we had to make two trips to the hair salon in the span of a week. You're definitely not alone! :)

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  12. I just laughed my head off at you scaring them. That is hilarious!!! That’s a good story for when they act super tough. “Remember when you almost peed your pants because I jumped out of your covers?” Lol! I could have written this post. Ben cooks at our house pretty much always, I never separate my laundry and I don’t buy anything that can’t be dried, and if I am excelling in one area it usually means I’m dropping the ball on another. Mom guilt is the worst...

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  13. I’m terrible, but #4 is HILARIOUS! I have no doubt you & your boys will laugh about it over and over in the years to come. Seriously. When all my siblings and I are together we love to laugh and tell our best “mom,” stories. The winning story is the time when mom spanked the wrong kid. 🙈 Of course it was

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  14. Such a fun and relatable post!! I was laughing throughout reading it because I've so been there, just different fails. Oh, and I always mix my lights with my darks!!

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  15. Oh my gosh...number 4 made me laugh out loud....is that terrible of me? I know you felt awful but one day y'all will laugh at it!!
    Girl...I can't mix my lights and darks...I just can't do it!

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  16. Hello from Greece.I really loved your post, it's good to read about real people, with real life and not only glamorus me me me me posts.

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